A Secret We Can ALL Benefit From

The ONLY True Source of Lasting Joy

As I watch the news footage of the earthquake victims walking around the rubble, where once stood their homes, I can't help but think if dealing with the aftermath is ANY easier for them because everyone around them is going through the same hardships?

For the last few weeks since the news broke of my ex husbands most recent poor choices, the continuous cycle of his life, and his recent claims that he is now "declaring bankruptcy and losing everything" (doesn't surprise me at all given his history), I have been frantically trying to reorganize my financial situation yet again, wondering how I could possibly survive without the child support he's been providing me?

Last night he wrote me a text claiming since I filed with ORS I somehow "hurt him again" (the apparent intended "hurt" was obviously concocted in his own mind) which has now caused him to revert to his immature game playing mode once again of trying to "hurt" me back to get even by refusing to pay me what he owes me for child support. I tried to explain to him that one of the requirements when you have to file for food stamps and medicare through the state is you ALSO have to file through the ORS. He ignored my explanation in the matter, of course.

I guess this isn't the first time I've been caught in this sudden stressful situation...the first time he stopped paying his child support was years ago, shortly after the last divorce (yes, I dragged myself through the insanity twice with him). Anticipating it might be a while til he paid me again, I quickly put my home up for sale before I might lose it due to foreclosure. Lucky for me the market was amazing and I sold within a month making a profit on the home, which I was able to use to pay off my car and other debts, using the extras to take care of mine and the kids needs.

The second time he stopped paying me I now had a car loan which was under my name...a car my ex "bought me as a gift" after trying to win me back the third time around, yet due to his poor credit we had to finance it under my name (foolish me). I realized "economic control" was just one of his ways to try to keep me from leaving...and sadly it worked several times for him. As soon as I told him I wanted out of the relationship he stopped paying the car payment (didn't surprise me much), and without care or concern left me to figure it out on my own, knowing immediately it would be impossible to make ends meet on my meager income.

At that time, I was working several part time jobs and juggling my children from sitter to sitter to try and keep our heads afloat. My ex would try to sabotage my efforts by refusing his visits with our sons last minute to create more stress for me which put me at greater risk of losing my job. I have the sweetest picture of my babies at the restaurant I worked at sitting at a booth with bread and lemonade to keep them occupied while I worked until a substitute sitter could arrive to take care of them (if I can locate it I'll post it).

Although I was making all the effort I possibly could during that time to make ends meet, it was proving insufficient. Eventually, I was only a week away from being homeless when a friend (heaven sent angel) offered me and my boys a new job and a place to stay (refer to my very first blog post where I go into greater detail about this story).

Since that time, my ex had been fighting me in court (which of course he tried playing his BEST side). It was wonderful ONLY for the fact that I was able to receive my child support payments on time for most of that period. Sadly though, after losing my job due to the poor economy, I became quite dependent on his support once again. So, when it all came to a SUDDEN halt last month it threw me for a BIG loop which I wasn't prepared for.

I've realized, being in a tight financial situation isn't too bad when the economy is crappy like it is...that's what made me think of the earthquake victims...the fact that everyone is dealing with the same hardships you'd think it would almost make it more bearable of a situation. Seeing myself and my boys possibly HOMELESS on the other hand, is another story.

I had been going over the numbers for the past few weeks trying to find a solution...after consolidating and canceling as much as I could do without; our TV service, health insurance, and now the internet (I have only a few more weeks of paid service)...I've realized the only thing left to lose is either our transportation or our apartment if my ex continues to NOT pay his child support obligations.

I was debating whether or not to share this seemingly depressing information on my blog, but I figured by sharing this experience I would remain true to the purpose behind the "Single Mom Together Strong" organization, where together we help to bear one another's burdens by sharing stories of hope, hardships and happy endings to keep us standing strong through the tough times that are SURE to come.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not always the strongest person in every situation...but when my workout and social life suffers you know I'm focused on some major "problem solving" and the stress can get the best of me, resulting into my reverting into somewhat of a recluse (unlike my usual self), allowing me to focus more clearly on the problem at hand. So, today I finally asked my bishop for a blessing so I might receive some peace on what is seeming to be SUCH a hopeless matter, also with the hope of receiving some MUCH needed direction and guidance as to what to do next. I was grateful for his words of advice and comfort in his response...he reminded me of how far I've come and ALL I have endured to get to this point in my life and that I would make it through this hardship. We then set an appointment to meet for the blessing (bishops are busy guys...I don't envy them).

After the night had worn down, I gathered my boys together for our daily scripture reading. We started reading the Book of Mormon when the missionaries came to re-introduce me to the church back in the summer of 2007. It's taken us a while due to the fact that I haven't always been the most diligent reader. Since the new year though, we made a new family goal to read every night. We are currently about halfway through the book of Third Nephi where Jesus Christ appears to the people on the American Continent after his resurrection.

Dealing with my own current stresses and then on top of it to have to hear of ALL the death and destruction from the recent deadly earthquakes and Tsunami's in various parts of the world, I found my anxiety building, being more than I wanted to bear at this time given my current struggles. Since last week I'd been reading to my boys in Third Nephi of the 3 days of darkness and terrible destruction the world faced after Jesus Christ's death and I couldn't help but relate it to what we had been witnessing on the news of the terrible destruction that is currently taking place around the world.

Well tonight I felt that the timing couldn't have been more perfect as to what we read given the fact that I was desperately seeking some peace in my life. We read how after 3 days of darkness and destruction Jesus Christ appears as a light to the people, manifesting himself unto them showing them his wounds in his hands, feet and side. In reading on, it truly brought SO much peace to my heart knowing that no matter what, as long as I am living righteously, the world could be falling apart all around me but I can have faith that he will hold me in the palm of his hand til the day I will be able to see him again. I can't tell you how blessed I am to have the scriptures back in my life for the simple peace they bring to me each night as I read them.

Previously, during my inactive years out of the church, I lost that peace, I was unable to feel the spirit and my anxiety levels were at a constant high. Today, when I feel the weight of the world I can escape by reading the scriptures. They never cease to bring me that calming, peaceful feeling which helps to guide me through my own daily trials as a single mother.

Boyd K. Packer said, "The spirit does not get our attention by shouting or shaking us with a heavy hand. Rather it whispers. It caresses so gently that if we are preoccupied we may not feel it at all."

I promise if you take the time to read The Book of Mormon consistently as I have, the spirit will be brought back into your life bringing you peace and comfort to help you through the tough times. I am so grateful to our Savior, Jesus Christ who never turned his back on me even when I turned my back on him. I am grateful that through my sometimes dark days he can be a light to me and my children giving us hope and peace that helps guide us through our daily lives.

President Howard W. Hunter testified that "Jesus is the ONLY true source of lasting joy, that our ONLY peace is in him..."

I testify to the truthfulness of his words. I have lived on BOTH sides, following in the opposite direction for a time and I know without a doubt, although it may seem fun for a while, it is NOT lasting JOY, in fact it is exactly the opposite. It is exactly as it is spoken of in the scriptures, as a "snare", appearing to be SO enticing, blinding you until it is too late.

The path I took, which some of you may relate, is a slippery slope JUST as the prophets and the scriptures teach. Anyone who says otherwise is a foolish person. I know, I was that foolish person for a while. It took ALL the strength in me to come back to where I am today and it hasn't been easy. It's been a long, hard uphill road...one I wish I never have to climb again.

It truly saddens me to see married couples and singles who think the grass is greener on the other side, sacrificing TRUE joy with a superficial replacement which literally destroys not only their own life but their families as well.

Know I write from my heart and through my own experiences testify of the truthfulness, not only of the gospel of Jesus Christ and his scriptures, but also from witnessing the hand of the Lord in my own life and how I know NOW of a surety that lasting joy comes only through Jesus Christ and by following his path which he leads.

I pray you never have to find out the hard way as I did.


With Love,

Temple

Story of Inspiration and Happy Endings

I recently received an email from a reader that truly touched me. I asked her if I could share what she wrote because I believe it will inspire and remind each of us that Happy Endings still DO exist. The following is what she wrote:

Hi Temple,

I am a friend of Mindy's and saw something you wrote on your blog copied over to hers about her nephew, Bronson. I thought the things you wrote were very beautiful and today took the opportunity to view your blog from Mindy's. I just wanted to tell you how much your blog touched me. I was in a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship for four years that ultimately ended in divorce a year ago. The abuse began before we were even married and turned into physical abuse during the last few months, which is what finally gave me the strength and courage to leave him and file for divorce.

Everything you say in your blog is either something I dealt with in my marriage or something I can completely understand because I can see how it could have gotten to that point. I totally understand how we, as women, tend to rationalize the behavior of the abuser and sometimes even blame ourselves. It took me several years of counseling to finally get the strength to leave him and several months after the divorce to get over him. We had a beautiful little girl together who is now three and I can't imagine life without her. I guess if I had to go through all that to obtain such a special gift, it was definitely worth it.

I enjoy your discussions about faith and how you were inactive for a number of years, but have recently gone back to church. The main reason I wanted to email you was to tell you that I went through the same thing. I was raised LDS and was in Mindy's stake growing up. I became inactive during a very difficult period in my life and stayed inactive for about six years. I never denied the fact that I believed the church was true, I really think I stopped going because I wasn't living the teachings and felt unworthy.

Once I had my daughter three years ago, I began to really think about life and how I wanted to raise her. I wanted her to grow up in the church the way I had and I felt extremely guilty that I was not providing her with that. My ex-husband was very anti-Mormon and did not agree with this idea. When I finally left him, I began going back to church.

At first, I think it was totally for my daughter. But over a few weeks or months, I began to feel the spirit and started reevaluating the path I was on. I quit doing the things that were against the church's views such as drinking and my life started to get so much easier. It was difficult being a single mother, but I saw how my depression started to go away and how I was getting over my ex much quicker and easier than before. I now had other things to focus on.

I completed the repentance process over the course of a few months and then several people in my family and my ward started telling me I should prepare to receive my endowments in the temple. At first I didn't think I was ready for that and just kind of smiled and nodded. I began praying about it really hard and studying even more. I finally received the answer that I should start preparing for the temple.

I can tell you that within a few days of making this decision, I met an amazing man who is now my husband. We were just married in January in the Provo Temple. We were both in similar situations in life having been divorced and gone through the repentance process. We were both working on temple recommends and wanted to get our lives in order. I felt like we had already made the commitments to ourselves to go to the temple and becoming a couple only helped us more to get there together. We received our temple recommends within a month of one another and he proposed to me soon after that in November. I received my endowments in December (he had previously been endowed when he went on a mission) and we were married two weeks later.

I read what you talked about regarding your ex-husband changing to meet what he thought were your standards and I think a lot of people do this. I know I have done it in the past and I feel like men from my past had changed to try to please me as well. I feel like my current husband and I had decided what we wanted in a spouse and were not going to settle for anything less and then luckily found each other when we were going through the exact same process. It has been an amazing experience and I am happier now than I have ever been in my life.

When I was in my last marriage, going through my divorce, and dealing with depression over my failed relationship, there were days that I thought of taking my own life to end the misery. Every time, I would think that someday I would be happier than I've ever been and look back at this depression and be so glad I didn't do anything to myself. Now is that time and I am so glad I made it through the pain.

Thank you so much for your blog. It has related to me in a way no other blog or person in my life has. I believe you are truly inspiring thousands of women out there and hope you will continue to write on the blog. I wish you luck in finding your Mr. Right and really think if you stay on this good path you've been on regarding being a great mom, friend, family member, and church member, that you will find someone who wants the exact same things that you do and will not need to change to be what you want, they will already be that person. I wish you the best and will continue to read your blog.

Thanks so much,
Julie

Thank you for your story Julie. I know by sharing your experience it will "inspire thousands", and remind us all to be STRONG, stay true, keep the faith and NEVER lose hope in our dreams.

Luvs!

B Strong 5k Fun Run!

**The following information is copied straight from my friends facebook event page. She happens to be the aunt of the little boy who she talks about below. The "B Strong 5k Fun Run" will be held to benefit him and his family in their efforts to pay for his medical bills. I hope to see you ALL there to help support them in their cause. I wrote a previous post about His Mothers blog in which she talks about the entire experience. To read her story go to www.stakerzxposed.blogspot.com

On January 30th 2010, Bronson Staker was life flighted to Primary Childrens Hospital after being found dead in the bath tub and rushed to UVRMC where they revived his heart. At 16 months old Bronson was given a second chance at life when the odds were not in his favor. Besides being a medical Miracle, he has touched the lives of many who have been following his story around the Globe.

Come celebrate the gift of life with us and Bronson, in celebration of Bronson’s 2nd Chance.

There will be a 5k, and children’s 1 mile Fun Run. Both Starting at 9am. Following there will be Games, Food, prizes, Bounce houses for the kids. Register online@:

https://www.active.com/event_detail.cfm?event_id=1839825

Pre-registration: adults: $10, Children $6.
Same Day Registration: Adults $12, children $8.
Same Day Family of 5 or more discount @ $25.

We look forward to seeing you all!

Links to this story:
www.stakerzxposed.blogspot.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfAKoFzYwzE (Bronsons Miracle Video)
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=9654005
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=9664118

**If you cannot make the run, Donations are also set up at Wells Fargo. You may visit any Branch and tell them you wish to donate to“The Bronson Staker Donation account”. Thank you!!


Questions or Concerns Contact:
MindyJohanson@hotmail.com (Mindy Staker Johanson)
Jordan.Welch@gmail.com (Jordan Welch)
OR VIA FACEBOOK

Memo: From the desk of God

Memo:

From The Desk of GOD

To my special child


Effective Immediately:

Dear Child:

I Just wanted to send you a short memo to remind you of certain things I’m sure you already know.
You must realize - I know you better then you know yourself. I know your past present and future. BUT Most importantly I LOVE YOU and always will. TRUST in me – and the path that I have put you on. Never let go of the Iron Rod, though. I look forward to our reunion in the not so distant future. Your destiny lays in your hand my child - but you are never without guidance.

QUIT WORRYING:

IF your life seems full of problems, challenges and injustices don’t just sit around and complain and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

PUT IT ON THE LIST:

IF something needs done or taken care of - Put it on “The List”. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to me. And, although my to-do-list is long, I am, after all, God. I can take care of anything you put into my hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

TRUST ME:

Once you've given your burdens to me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on my list. Problem with finances? Put it on my list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For my sake, put it on my list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

LEAVE IT ALONE

Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with me and forget about them. Just let me do my job.

TALK TO ME:

I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please don't forget to talk to me - OFTEN! I love you. I want to hear your voice. I want you to include me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with me. I want to be your dearest friend.

HAVE FAITH:

I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in me that I know what I'm doing. Trust me, you wouldn't want the view from my eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

SHARE:

You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

BE PATIENT:

I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes me a little longer than you expect to handle something on my to-do-list? Trust in my timing, for my timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.

BE KIND:

Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for my sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please know I love each of your differences.

LOVE YOURSELF:

As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only - to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes my heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget that! Never forget the spark of divinity that is within you. You were created in MY image.

And most importantly and with all my heart I want to tell you, ”I love you!”,

Your (Heavenly) Father



(My father sent this to me in an email today and I thought I'd pass it along...hope you ENJOYED!)

Valentines Day

I was up til 2 am this morning filling out paperwork for O.R.S. Nope, NOT the IRS but just as equally stressful. If you don't know what O.R.S. is, then count yourself lucky! O.R.S. stands for the Office of Recovery Services. They are your new best friend when it comes to trying to get the financial help you're entitled to receive from your ex when he/she fails to step up and pay it.

Since last weeks drama from my ex and the weeks leading up, I guess it's not surprising that I am now NOT receiving the child support which I'm entitled to receive. I've tried several times to contact him to work something out but each time with no luck.

It's sad, but for me to make it without my ex's financial help, I've figured I'd have to have multiple jobs making it near impossible to ever see my kids again...

OR I could be a stripper, haha (JK)!!

Not that I have anything against girls who choose to go that route, I just know my sudden outbursts of laughter caused by embarrassing situations probably wouldn't mix well with the atmosphere. ;)

Okay, back to the O.R.S...

After filling out the application, my next task was to copy off ALL the documentation required to accompany it, and then mail it ALL in. I seriously felt like I was applying for Harvard or something with the amount of crap they were asking me to pull together??

I laughed when I read the instructions where it required me to "enclose a copy of my divorce agreement and any other orders pertaining to my children". Since my divorce in 2004 I've had to modify the order SO many times because of the issues with my ex, that I'm beginning to lose count! Well, as I was compiling all the court orders together, it slowly began to look like a novel which easily could have rivaled a dramatic Best Seller.

As I was standing there "making copies on the copy machine" (Flashback from an old Saturday Night Live), my older son at Scouts, my 6 1/2 year old patiently sat on the floor at the UPS store filling out his 'Harley Davidson' Valentine cards for his Class Valentines Party tomorrow...

"You make my engine roar!" and "There's room for two, lets ride!", were a little on the edgy side in my opinion for a 1st graders valentines cards. ;) Just last night he was in TEARS as he was telling me he refused to "go to school on Friday if he HAD to give a Valentines card to everyone in the class"...meaning "The GIRLS".

I had to explain to him that the girls aren't REALLY going to think he was "in love" with them JUST because he gave them a Valentine (I was lying through my teeth).

Of course the girls are gonna think that...I know I TOTALLY DID?!

I'm pretty sure I still have the Valentine from my elementary school CRUSH in my scrapbook...only reading it now doesn't QUITE have the same affect it did on me over 2 decades ago, Haha!! I was SO "boy crazy" back then. Luckily, I've settled down since.

This weekend I happen to be MORE excited for Valentines Day then I can EVER remember!

NOPE...NOT what you're thinking.

I don't have a MAN in my life...Other than my 2 "little men" that is, and I don't really need one at the moment either. Instead, I have a brother who I've decided REALLY deserves something special this weekend and so I've put together a BIG surprise for him, blocking out the whole day Saturday to be with him, and I can't WAIT to see his reaction when he realizes what's in store for him!!

I've talked a little bit about my new goals for the new year...most of them being personal which is why I haven't shared more in detail, but one thing I've decided is I want to try to be more aware each day of the service I can do for others. I realized throughout my life, that service is what brings true happiness and peace, even in the midst of a seemingly crazy/busy world.

The idea came about when I was watching my brother (one of 4) as he was playing the Wii Christmas night at my sisters house. From the back, the pants he was wearing looked 4 sizes too big and 3 sizes too short, and when I asked him if they were new, he proudly explained to me that he "found them at the D.I. for $3!". Granted I've shopped at D.I. and there are times you can find some great stuff there, but clearly he was needing a little more help.

My brother suffers from Asperger's Disease.

For those unfamiliar with this disease...Wikipedia gives a good definition:

"Asperger syndrome is an autism spectrum disorder, and people with it therefore show significant difficulties in social interaction, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. It differs from other autism spectrum disorders by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development. Although not required for diagnosis, physical clumsiness and atypical use of language are frequently reported."

My brother has been living on disability for the past few years, unable to hold down a job, which has made it difficult for him to afford nice things. He lives alone downtown in an apartment which the state helps pay for and has a Scooter he drives for transportation when the weather permits. He has his same daily routines and being that he has a photographic memory, never forgets a face. I doubt anyone who meets him, ever forgets him either.

I remember when we were younger he would read the encyclopedias from A-Z and could retain the most RANDOM information you could ever think of. He would build the MOST amazing structures out of wooden building blocks well into his teens and could draw the Empire State Building with precision, knowing exactly how tall and how many many windows it had and the amount of steel which was used to build it. Just as I mentioned earlier, the MOST random information that no one else even had a clue about, let alone cared to know. He is a genius, and isn't even aware of it.

I think of how SO many of us have been tuned into the Haitian earthquake and its aftermath...truly a heartbreaking catastrophe. I hear about service missions in South America and other third world countries which I think would be truly amazing to be apart of. With all the sadness that has taken place with some of the recent disasters around the world, the poverty levels due to our failing economy, and other unfortunate circumstances, it made me aware of how my problems of being a busy single mom are SO minute when compared to some of the BIGGER problems others might face.

Recently my brother said how he felt at times that, "No one cared if he even existed.", It just BROKE MY HEART!!

With 7 other brothers and sisters to look after him or take the time to let him know we were thinking of him you would think that was a surprising statement to hear. Instead, we happened to ALL be caught up, each in our own individual worlds, failing to see his loneliness slowly crumble him from the inside out.

I knew I had NOT been innocent.

There had been many days where I was just trying to figure out how to keep my own head afloat. Checking in on him, taking the time to call and say hello, was the furthest thing from my mind as I was wrapped up in my own family's needs.

With my parents now divorced and all of us spread across 4 different states, who was watching out for our brother...the sibling who was dealt a greater hardship than us all??

Looking back, EVERY Monday WITHOUT FAIL, he would send us ALL the 'Free Redbox Movie Code', including other random Mass text messages which would come in waves throughout the day filled with everything from 'Breaking News', Sports, Political and Weather Updates to random "Jokes" that only he would think was funny.

There were SO many texts he would send out, making it near impossible to keep up with them. I figured someone else would have the time to answer back, life was too hectic and I was just TOO BUSY caught up in my own world with my kids and their school and sports, etc.

I realized later, we were ALL pretty much thinking the same thing...

"Someone else would answer back".

This New Year I realized this was an important matter to me that couldn't wait any longer. So, one of my resolutions was to go out of my way to take more time to let him know how much I care about him as my brother...

A few weeks ago I sent out a Mass email to the rest of my family to tell them of what I had noticed last Christmas Night. I reminded them of how we truly have been so blessed and that it was time we ALL sacrificed, to give something more for our brother which he cannot do for himself.

The response was AMAZING!!

I was humbled as I witnessed each one of my brothers and sisters, including my parents, immediately pull together, across 4 different States, to help build a Fund which would go towards some much needed clothing articles for our brother/son. New clothes which he could feel good about and had been unable to afford due to the struggles life has dealt him.

It brought me to tears as I realized how we've all equally cared and worried for his welfare for so long, just never knowing where to begin. NOW we were finally going to show him! All it took was pointing out an issue we were seemingly aware of more on a subconscious level and bringing to life a plan of conscious action.

We love those we serve, and we serve those we love, so what better way to spend this Valentines Day than serving our brother, who has never probably received a Valentines gift from a girl in his LIFE other than his sisters and Mother.

Makes me SO sad to think of!!

I've decided Valentines Day should be about Serving others. Not some FLUFF about "What's my boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife is going to do for me", or "Oh my gosh I don't have a date! What WILL I do?" and the many other phrases I've probably said and heard other people say over the past years, which I've realized is worthless dramatics when it comes down to what TRULY matters most in this life.

As I've learned through the past years, I've come to realize it's about the little things...about the people right around us...our family members, our children and brothers and sisters, next door neighbors, the widow up the street, the handicap who is working hard with an unwavering determination despite what life has dealt...these are those who might normally go unnoticed in our everyday busy world...who would appreciate it the MOST.

I just wanted to throw this out there...A WISH, MY WISH...that in these crappy times we stand as a light to those around us. It doesn't need to be big or even cost a penny. Start with something small and simple. Remembering to look for those who truly could use it the most. I promise that light will grow, spreading JOY and Peace around making our world a better place...

...originating from one simple little act of kindness which you helped create!

I wish you ALL Peace and Love this Valentines Day!!

Love Always,

Temple

Dear Anonymous

I received a message from an anonymous reader after my most recent blog post. I respect all opinions (within reason), which is why I allow the option to place your comments as "anonymous" if you feel so inclined. From my experience, the majority of "anonymous" comments are written by people who like to simply tear down, name call or make uneducated judgments on a person or situation.

FYI: I didn't start this blog to gain approval from anyone. I choose to share my experiences for those who may find it can benefit them in one way or another. If you are someone who is perfect and knows it ALL, then LUCKY YOU!! You won't be needing me or my blog...in fact, why don't you spend time on creating your own blog to help benefit others, lifting them to your level of perfection...then send me the link cause I need all the help I can get. :)

I figured this most recent "anonymous" comment would be a good one to expand on to show how far off a persons judgment can be and that it's never worth your while to tear someone down to make yourself feel better...

Below is the comment signed "-Anonymous":

Temple I appreciate your story and obviously hope the wife is okay but what was more disturbing to me was the fact that you left your two boys with him when he was obviously high on something?! So you could go to a holiday party? Do I have that right? Why would you trust a woman that doesn't have the right judgement to take care of YOUR kids? I, too, came from a very abusive relationship and my kids are the only reasons I was able to get away from him. I never wanted to put them in harms way again. And you did. I'm sorry but that was extremely suprising and dissapointing.

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I appreciate your concern, but your judgment of my situation is far off.

If you re-read my post you will see that I carefully weighed the situation. I know enough about his wife, knowing her own child appears to be well taken care of and had no reason, at that time, to believe that she would allow either one of our children to be placed in a compromising situation...she may have no doubt NOW since her most recent experience of his unpredictable, volatile personality, but she may not have been aware back then. When I weighed out my decisions that night in December, I hoped she would have enough sense and decency at that time, to keep our children safe from a harmful environment, given it had turned into that.

My children, although 7 and 8 years old, are extremely smart and self sufficient. They have been taught what to do in a scary situation. They have a cell phone in which they can make calls to me, my family, neighbors or 911 if they found themselves in an unsafe environment at anytime. I wasn't worried about him harming them as much as him driving them while under the influence of drugs/alcohol.

From my experience, I know that my ex's main drug of choice falls in the "Opiate" category. Witnessing his usual state in the past when he was "high", I figured he would be sitting on the couch in a half-comatose state watching television while his wife attended to the kids. So I wasn't as concerned with him being out of control and violent as I was with him driving the children in that state. As you read in my post, I did ask him NOT to drive and he honored my request.

I'm not sure of your experiences with your own abusive ex but as far as my ex goes and his past history which I have experienced first hand, I knew if I would have made a scene in front of his wife and the children, chances are it would have triggered an out of control situation possibly leading to a violent outburst.

Each situation is different when it comes to what triggers violence and similar situations. What women need to realize is they can, in fact, actually trigger a violent situation themselves by confronting, accusing or catching their abuser off guard in anyway disrupting their current state. I learned this through my own past experiences with my ex. This is also what happened in the pop star, Rihanna's, recent abuse case. She accused her boyfriend, Chris Brown, of calling and texting another girl while they were driving home from a dinner event. It triggered a major violent attack on her right there which started while they were both still in the vehicle and ended up with her abandoned, unconscious on the side of the road, bruised and bleeding.

We all live and learn. Maybe what triggered your ex's violence is different than what I'm used to. I have realized the best way to deal with my ex is to be pleasant and tip-toe around him. If he is not complying with a current court order, I have the police and the courts deal with it and I stay out of it as much as possible to keep the dramatics to a minimum. I didn't always do this in the past, finding myself in some scary situations with him.

From what I have been told by witnesses of last weeks incident, his wife allegedly triggered the attack, apparently telling him she was "Done", in front of their employees, which led to his physical outburst. I'm not sure if she meant "done with the business" or "the marriage" but either way it was enough to send him on a supposed "rampage".

I'm not saying the victim is EVER to blame, abuse is NEVER okay in any situation, but to give an analogy that would help you understand where I am coming from...

If you had a tiger in the same room as you, would you do anything to upset it??

NOT AT ALL!

Chances are, you would stay quiet, play dead or tip-toe towards the door to avoid an incident resulting in YOU becoming the tigers meal.

My ex can be compared to a tiger. Maybe at times he seemed sweet and cuddly, but I've learned through my experiences with him, that he could easily be set off, and when he was, it was not the "family day at the zoo" experience anyone would EVER wish for.

Maybe this may come as a surprise to some, but I had been with my ex for over 3 years before his first violent episode even occurred. My ex didn't act out in a physical way in our relationship until the very first time I tried to leave him. After that his violent outbursts grew in number and were more consistent, but as long as I was compliant and went along with his wishes he was the sweetest thing EVER! It reminded me of the book 'Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde'. That is why it took me so long to finally leave him in the end. I would have rather stayed and kept the peace for my children, even though on the inside I was crumbling, feeling hopeless and absolutely depressed.

Back to your comment about me leaving my children with him on the visit so I could "attend a holiday party"...

I knew by calling him and asking him politely NOT to drive with our children, instead of accusing him in front of his wife, I would have avoided a dramatic situation for ALL of us. By weighing the outcome carefully and given his history, it resulted in a safer environment in the end.

When I returned home a short while later, the children were happy and well taken care of by his wife while he sat in front of the TV half asleep, just as I had expected.

Just curious what you would have done in the same situation?

In the past, I've called the police to turn him in when I knew he was using drugs so I could keep my children from a dangerous situation. He ended up making me look like I was a jealous ex who was trying to falsely accuse him to keep our kids from him. If he didn't smell like alcohol and could act fine enough when the police showed up, there was nothing the police could do for the situation. If you had made the same choices as I did with that, you'd understand eventually the cops look at YOU as the bad guy, NOT him. My ex is an amazing "con-man" who amazes me at how well he can fool those around him, when he wants to.

To give an example of what I'm talking about...

One night back in 2005 we were driving home from a night out and I had accused him of being on drugs due to his odd behavior, I had witnessed, as the night progressed. He was "high" on Oxycontin he had snorted earlier in a public restroom during dinner. My accusations made him angry and triggered a negative, thoughtless reaction on his part. He decided in one quick moment to jump from my moving vehicle, getting ran over by the back tire in the process. By the time I was able to turn the car around to check on him he was long gone...he had jumped right up and ran a mile home, throwing up in the bushes on his way, completely unaware of his injuries.

I called an officer to go to my ex's apartment to check on him to see if he was okay, knowing it was a safer option than doing it myself after all the dramatics. I explained the situation, informing the officer of my ex's drug abuse problem, sure a trained law enforcement official would easily pick up on the problem upon meeting with my ex in the middle of his "drugged state". Instead, to my surprise, the policeman called me shortly after showing up at his door, telling me my ex answered the door and didn't seem to be under the influence of anything and had physically appeared to be normal.

The next day after my ex's drugs had finally wore off, my ex called me saying he was leaving work early because for "some reason his foot was all swollen up and he couldn't even stand on it anymore". When I reminded him of the series of events which had played out from the previous night, he LAUGHED out LOUD! I didn't find it to be the least bit humorous. He had little recollection of the incident and was unaware that the car had even run over him.

Just like in this past situation, the night in December which I wrote about in my last post, is NOT much different...the police aren't going to arrest him and force him to take a drug test just because I accuse him of being on drugs. I may be able to easily read when he's using because I am familiar with my ex and his behavior...the cops aren't. To get to THAT level, I would have to take the situation to court and have enough proof to "show cause", which would be a re-run of the drama which has played out for the past few years of my life, of constant court battles that were slowly going nowhere because my ex was still skirting around his court ordered drug tests. Guys like this who have been in and out of jail and live sketchy lifestyles, usually know exactly how to manipulate the court system to benefit their situation and buy them time.

Apparently you don't clearly understand the legal court system. If you do NOT have definite, concrete proof that your children are in immediate danger you CANNOT keep the kids from the other parent if they have an order in place outlining their legal visitation and/or custody rights. If you deny a parent their visitation rights without definite proof the children are in immediate danger OR have a Court Order allowing you to legally do so, you WILL be committing a crime. The crime is called "custodial interference." This is a felony with a maximum sentence of 5 years in jail. I didn't want to go that route.

After 2 years of battling my ex in court over his visitation, the judge left us with no other choice but to come to terms on a new visitation agreement OR he would do it for us. Although my ex was putting on a good enough show which seemed to be fooling the Judge for the time, I knew otherwise and so it was killing me inside, with what the Judge was asking us to do.

Once I weighed out ALL the options, I realized settling could actually create a win/win situation, with the outcome possibly going one of 2 ways...

Either he would prove me wrong and FINALLY step up as the Dad our sons have ALWAYS deserved...

OR

...he would eventually "hang" himself like he had done in the past, through his own careless actions, providing the BEST possible evidence to the courts of the person, I believed, he still was.

I truly am grateful that the timing with his recent acts played out WITHOUT my children present. It's exactly what I had been praying for, which is why I believe I felt peace to act as I did.

I don't know the story with you and your ex but it sounds like he didn't care enough to fight for your children when you left him. Otherwise, I would think your situation wouldn't be as simple as you make it sound. I figured if you understood the legal system as I do...you also wouldn't be as judgmental as you were in your comment. I knew my ex would never stop fighting me in court. So I knew my options were slim and that I would need a strategy that would finally work to end it all.

He essentially "hung himself" with his actions last week, just as I had expected he eventually would. I just didn't realize it would take him only 5 short months to do so. Now I have the proof I have been waiting for with his recent arrest record and the related charges, one of which is a 3rd degree felony DUI.

I don't know of any better way I could have handled the situation...in the end I couldn't have asked for better, faster results than what was just delivered. It's unfortunate that my sons will have to see their Dad through supervised visits again, but at least I now have the peace I've been longing for, knowing they will be in safe hands once again.

I truly thank my Father in Heaven for watching over my little family and for leading me through this drawn-out battle to the best possible outcome for us, given our situation.

I am glad you're away from your ex and made choices that worked for you and your children to put you in a safe place today. May you always stand strong! Now try using your experiences to help bless and lift others...NOT tear them down.

Remember...

"Any jackass can kick down a barn but it takes a good carpenter to build one..."


Best wishes to you!

With Love,

Temple

Tragedy: when everything seemed so perfect

Have you ever gotten that feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you something isn't quite right? Where you have the basic puzzle pieces, but you're unable to put them together cause you're still missing the one crucial piece? Well, that's the feeling I've had which has been building over the past few weeks...

Friday morning it was a usual morning when my phone rang.

Not that its abnormal for my phone to ring on a Friday morning, but little did I know on this particular morning a bomb was about to drop. In fact, it had already dropped...I just didn't know it yet...or did I??

"Hello?" I answered. The caller responded with, "Have you heard about your ex husband?".

My first instinct was NOT a good one.

A few weeks ago, I had felt something coming on, SO strong in fact, that me and my sister had already searched the online inmate database for my ex-husbands name to pop up, making sense of what had been going on and how I had been feeling lately.

Since signing a deal with him in late August 2009 out of court, which FINALLY brought our ongoing 2 year court battle over his visitation rights to an end...I knew it was only a matter of time for something dramatic to happen once again. He had been fighting to get unsupervised visits with our sons after a long history of drug and alcohol abuse and a pattern of violent outbursts.

A few years had since past after I left him for good. He was now married to a beautiful new wife who had a child from a previous marriage, living in a brand new home. They had recently expanded his business and everything seemed to be "picture perfect".

Although we ALL hope for the best...hope that people learn their lessons and change for the better...sadly I was afraid he wasn't one who would ever fall under this category, capable of living happily ever after. In fact, I knew him ALL to well. Although he seemed to have fooled those currently around him, I knew the truth, and that it was only a matter of time before it would ALL come crashing down once more.

After 2 years in court and dozens and dozens of random drug tests in which he was supposed to have taken and never did, it seemed that if we didn't come to a settlement fast the courts were gonna brush his addictive and volatile past aside, not even caring about the consequence it could have on our sons, and allow him normal parent time.

I was terrified.

I was thinking, we have ALL the prove that he IS who we say he his and he has NO proof to show he's actually going to be ANY different this time around. Sure he had spent 18 months in the Drug Court system, but anyone you'll talk to who's been through it will tell you it's ALL a big joke and that anyone can pass those drug tests if they've got half a brain. There was even a story that had come out recently in the news, where there were several employees of the testing facility who had been leaking the random drug testing schedule to some of the defendants.

Knowing what I had witnessed of him over the years I was with him and knowing he never truly received the help he needed, I knew he wasn't a changed man and I know he knew it too.

The Justice system isn't really about "justice" at all in my opinion...its ALL about "manipulating" the system as I witnessed my ex do for the years and years in which I witnessed him get away with everything but murder it seemed. Never once did he provide a clean drug test from the drug testing agency he was ordered to. Never once did he actually take the court ordered test!? Instead his defense was full of lies, excuses and turning the attention back on me.

After 2 years of remaining strong, standing up for the best of my children, dealing with the financial, emotional and physical strain that court brings, I finally received the closure I needed. It happened one night as I was reading in the Book of Mormon and all of a sudden it just hit me.

In the years of dealing with the Justice System yet seeing NO justice at all, my peace finally came in reading about how when we choose to NOT forgive someone we hold onto the condemnation and we aren't allowing the atonement to work in our lives properly, but by truly forgiving the person who wronged us we actually place that condemnation back on the head of that person, allowing them to answer for their own sins...and in that single act justice is served.

After finishing the chapter, I immediately had an overwhelming sense of peace over the matter. I felt like I could finally let go of the stress and worry, putting it in the Lords hands, giving their dad one more chance to prove himself worthy and allow him ONE more time to step up and make it right or on the contrary, ONE more chance to condemn himself even further, giving him the hammer which would force the nail in his own coffin in the end and in addition, placing all the condemnation back where it belonged.

I was sick of fighting this battle. I was sick of the lies he had told his friends and family over the years to keep them on his side supporting and enabling his efforts. I had lived with him, I know the lies. I know the stories he had told to me which made me believe for a while, til eventually I was shown the reality. Now he would have his chance to prove to everyone the TRUTH...was he a changed man or NOT? Was I just making this up the whole time? His family sure thought so...they didn't see what I had witnessed.

I had been prayerful about how I should go about the matter. I had to convince my ex to come to an agreement that we could BOTH feel good about. It seemed like an impossible task given that anything I wanted, he seemed to want the opposite. After a 3-4 hour long phone conversation with my ex I could see we were close to coming to a solution, and I was about to receive the break that I needed.

Finally, we were able to come to an agreement that we both felt good about, most importantly insuring a way to keep the boys safe by leaving a way out if, in fact, he were to prove, once again, that his "past issues" were still a problem. Finally we had a plan which would actually work. A plan that would give him back the responsibility as a father and let him either finally prove himself worthy or clearly convict him in the end. He would be able to choose once again, which way the ball would drop, the weight I had carried from my fear of my past with him was now ALL placed on his shoulders. I knew all would be well and my sons would be in God's hands, and I was left with the peace I had been longing for.

Now, I need to back up for a minute...

Towards the beginning of our 2 year court battle, my Ex had his attorney write up an official "Parenting Plan" which he wanted us BOTH to follow to benefit our children. Let's just say my first reaction was to laugh-out-loud (LOL). He had clearly thought long and hard about his best line of defense when creating this plan, and if you were to read it, knowing what I know of the guy, you'd understand why. I knew it was written specifically to impress the judge and that NEVER in a million years was my ex ever planning to really live by this "Plan" himself. It was just a tactic he figured might work to give him the WIN he wanted.

I couldn't wait to see how he would now treat this second chance with his sons. Granted it would be wonderful if he could actually stick to his "Parenting Plan". It would be ANY girls dream come true if the father of her children would actually step up and assume equal responsibility in the raising of her children like he had written up in the rules of his so carefully crafted plan.

Now lets fast forward ahead to where my ex is awarded the unsupervised visits he had fought SO long and hard for...

At first, he started out as expected, seeming to step up as the dad our sons had always deserved. Each week he took time during the week to spend time with the boys and then took them for overnight visits every other weekend, bringing them back to me in time to attend our church meetings on Sunday, as written up in the agreement.

The boys were adjusting well and everything seemed to be going smoothly, and I was grateful we had a system in place where we were finally working together for the benefit of our children. It was the first time in years we were able to sit in the same room and have a normal conversation.

It wasn't long after that I started noticing certain things in his behavior...

I knew my ex and his pattern of behavior quite well. At one point during our past relationship he even admitted, "It freaks me out, how well you can read me...not even my Mom can read me THAT well!". I used to wonder why that was, but for any of you who have dealt with an addict for a period of time, you soon begin to recognize the behavioral patterns of someone who has fallen back into their old habits, or simply who's never actually stopped using but was just managing their use well for a while.

Little by little I watched the situation go from "Dad of the year" to missing one midweek visit, then missing every midweek visit. Soon, there were no more calls to check on his sons or to even return their calls.

One night in December I asked him to take his midweek visit so he could watch the boys for me while I attended a holiday party. Upon exchanging the children, I noticed something different with their Dad. He was talking with his eyes half closed and his speech was in such obvious slow motion it was almost humorous. I thought to myself, "Really?? Is he seriously that stupid?

His wife was standing right there witnessing the whole thing. Was she REALLY not aware of whats SO obviously going on here?? He was clearly using again...I thought I had noticed the signs on a few other occasions but each time I questioned him he would deny it and make up a new excuse. He always denied it, what else was I expecting? Was I really going to think he was going to start telling the truth after a decade of hiding it? This time I was for certain.

I waited til I drove away as to NOT cause a dramatic situation in front of the kids and then called him on the phone in an attempt NOT to question him, I didn't need to question him, I already knew the truth whether he was willing to admit it or not. I figured the boys had his wife and her son there and she wouldn't allow the children to be in harms way. I figured if they were just hanging around the house they would be fine and chances are their Dad would just sit like a log on the sofa in front of the television while she watched out for the kids. She seemed like an attentive mother to her own child so I hoped she would be with mine.

I called him in an attempt to let him know I knew what was going on. "You're obviously on something", I stated. "Why do say that?", he questioned with a nervousness in his voice. "It's SO obvious", I responded. "Please, I just ask that you don't drive anywhere with the boys in your car tonight and if you do please have your wife drive", I begged of him.

He denied it. I didn't expect otherwise.

It was SO obvious...had I had taken a video of him that night and played it back for him on a day he was sober, he would laugh and be embarrassed by the fact he could even consider trying to fool anyone in the state he was in?!

I knew without a doubt.

I had been with him for several years during our past relationship before I finally clued in as to the extent of his problem. By the time I finally clued in, the FBI had already been watching him for some time. I had sensed something was up for a while, but every time I questioned him, foolishly thinking I would get an honest answer, he lied. I never had all the puzzle pieces together to see the big picture, and from my past experience it allowed me to understand that maybe his wife was in the same predicament...maybe she really had NO idea what was going on right in front of her face??

I had tried to warn her in the very beginning...what he is capable of and what signs to look for, warning her to NOT quit her job and NOT allow him to put her in a position where she would feel like she had no way out. I warned her so she wouldn't have to learn the hard way like I had.

Why is it that we all have to learn our lessons the hard way? Why can't we learn from someone else's mistakes??

In a matter of only a few months, the 2 year long fight it took to get his visitation rights back as a father came crashing to a halt when I received the dreaded call yesterday...

"Apparently, your Ex flipped out at work, beating the crap out of his wife in front of ALL their employees and kicked the dog 10 feet. The cops had to show up.", the caller stated.

Out of impulse I started to shake.

"I have to go." I responded as I hung up the phone.

I knew what he was capable and what scared me even more was the fact that in the past he had only had his violent outbursts behind closed doors. The place my Ex was in must be so bad for him to not care to now show this side of him in public.

I immediately called his wife. I got her voice mail, not expecting to get anything else. I didn't even think of what she might think of me calling her. Yes, I had tried to warn her in the beginning and she hadn't listened, but that didn't matter now. I was familiar with what she might be going through and I offered her my support if she needed it, letting her know she was more than welcome to call.

I remember in the beginning a few years ago, I thought to myself "What does she see in him? Her Ex couldn't have been worse than my Ex?". She was a beautiful girl who could have had any guy...why him? He was such a loser in my eyes at that time. My ex lived on a blow-up mattress in an old apartment cause he sold his furniture to pay for his court and jail fees. He spent a week in jail during the first month they met and he was still serving out his Drug Court sentence which had recently been extended to 18 months because of the 2 DUI's he was charged with during his course of supposed "sober life".

You'd think after all I had been through my first reaction would be to say "I told you so." Maybe it would have been, had I remained the person I was shortly after leaving him. I surprised myself, because instead it was a complete soberness filled with concern and love for my Ex as a human being who was obviously in a really sad place in his life, sadness and concern for his wife and her safety, for what she would be dealing with emotionally at this time, and for our sons involved who's parents are clearly going through SUCH a difficult time in their lives.

I got on the internet and up popped my Ex's mug shot and arrest report. I was surprised at first. He wasn't in jail for domestic violence but instead for his 3rd DUI offense and other related driving violations?

If the story was true and the caller had the correct information, then his wife made the SAME mistakes as I had in the past of not pressing charges. I was shocked but then again I wasn't. I had excuse after excuse of why each time the cops would come by in the past to settle him down I didn't want to press charges.

The first time was after I told him I was going to leave him the first time.

I thought, "Oh its just because he loves me and doesn't want me to leave him."

then there were other excuses...

"If he was in jail he couldn't work to support our family and how would we make it?"

"He hasn't been volatile in a while so maybe this was another isolated incident."

...Sure he would blow up and punch his fists through the walls, furniture, wooden cupboards, our stainless steel fridge and beat and kicked a stainless steel BBQ I had recently purchased. He would throw chairs, tools, including a pocket knife which he threw through the wall, even cutting another whole to retrieve it later as it laid between the dry wall. Sure he would get right up in my face to yell so loud his spit would spray on my face and on some instances he'd even physically shove me around but I wasn't broken or bleeding. The main damage was to everything else not to me, I thought. To make up for the damage to our personal belongings he'd pay me for the repair and I guess I thought that was good enough?

Now to hear his new wife suffer possibly worse abuse at his hands?? I was terrified for her and felt I can't keep quiet. I wanted to write this story on here so maybe I could change one girls mind. Make you rethink of staying with someone like that and NOT turning him in.

YOU NEED TO TURN HIM IN!

YOU NEED TO PRESS CHARGES!

Maybe you are fine now but what about the future...what if he gets worse??

What if he does this to someone else??

By the time I had tried to turned my ex in it was too late. As we sat in court and I was hoping to receive a protective order, my blood ran chill as the judge read his verdict...

"I don't believe you are scared of him because you stayed with him and kept going around him."

I was in SHOCK!

SO many girls were in my same situation.

SO many girls make up excuses and stay.

So many girls don't know how to escape.

Abusive partners are controlling and can get you to a point where you feel hopeless and feel like you have NO way out.

I have written about domestic violence before on here because it is an issue I feel passionate about in which we need to be better educated on.

I hope someone reading this will chose today to make a change for the better.

There was a time I thought about taking my own life to escape his control and his manipulations. I never would have imagined I could be in the place I am today, happier than I ever was with him, free from control, fear and manipulation. Free to raise my sons in a healthy, loving environment. I have the gospel back in my life which is a daily guidance for me, showing me the true path of happiness. I have an AMAZING ward who would do anything for me and my sons. They watch over and protect us as our guardian angels here on earth. I wish this for all of you who feel alone. You deserve safety, respect, and a toxic free environment to raise your children. Being alone IS better than being with an abusive, controlling individual...TRUST ME!!

I've lived it, I've left, and I finally have the peace I'd always wanted.

YOU CAN TOO!

My brother just told me about a guy who used to work for him who is now serving a jail sentence for what Texas officials have called "One of the worst cases of domestic violence they've seen". The story is tragic. Here is the link to the article if you're interested in reading about it. Copy and paste this link to your browser web page:

http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/news/local/102809-Man-Beats-Girlfriend-in-Limo

Please understand, I am not writing to gain approval in anyone's eyes, I am writing because by sharing my story I feel like it might help someone who may be experiencing a similar situation, gain hope for a better tomorrow.

Please, know I write with love and compassion and I pray you're ALL safe.

I love you ALL like sisters!

-Temple

A lesson in Faith 101

I know, I KNOW...I've been a MAJOR slacker when it comes to writing lately. Since the New Year I made a few new goals and one of them was to spend less time on my computer (sorry facebook friends), saving me time which I can now invest into my AMAZING little boys...my treasures, my ANGELS.

My new 2010 goals have really been paying off in a big way, but as a result, I've lost track of my blog (sorry girls).

I really should write about the wonderful new things happening in my life!

I've been thinking I should, but didn't know when the right time would be or exactly what ALL I should share? I guess I'll figure that ALL out soon enough for you to read ALL about it...

INSTEAD,

The REAL reason I signed in to write a blog post tonight was because of an extremely scary, yet heartwarming experience that if you didn't believe in God, the power of the Priesthood, faith and prayer before...you WILL now.

This past Saturday I spoke with one of my best friends and she told me her little nephew had just had a drowning accident in the bathtub!! The only thing she knew to tell me at that point was that he was basically dead when the paramedics got to him but he had been "life flighted" to Primary Childrens Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. He had suffered a cardiac arrest and was unable to breathe on his own and the doctors didn't think he'd make it, and even if he did, the extent of his brain injuries he would have sustained from the lack of oxygen would NOT be good.

I was heartbroken...for my friend, her nephew and the rest of the family!!

My friend was emotional on the phone (as expected) as she told me how her brother (the drowned baby's father), held back his tears as he gave his baby son a comforting Priesthood Blessing while in the midst of ALL the chaos, promising the child would "make a complete recovery". In case you're curious, the family is of LDS faith (Mormons).

As I heard her explain this, immediately I felt some hope, while my friend was still unsure NOT knowing WHAT to think. She knew her brother had blessed his child with a "Complete recovery", but she couldn't shake what the doctors had said and their LACK of hope from a medical standpoint.

"Well, what father wouldn't bless his child with a complete recovery?" she questioned, as we spoke on the phone.

I explained that as a worthy Priesthood holder, he's not supposed to just say what HE wants...her brother would have been prompted by the spirit to know what to say for the benefit of his child, and that I've heard of cases where while giving a blessing the priesthood holder may feel peace about the passing of the child and receives comfort in that moment to let the child go in faith and hope.

I assured her that if her brother was prompted to bless his child with a complete recovery, then not to worry...ALL WILL BE WELL!

I have had a period of time in my life when I doubted my faith because of the never ending trials, I didn't feel like I deserved, which kept drowning me like a succession of tempest tossed waves in the sea. Finally I had HAD it and chose to give up!

It's been a LONG, HARD road back for me, and I'm still climbing...

BUT,

As I look back, my path looks exactly like that "Footprints in the Sand" picture, where NOW I see that Heavenly Father carried me through the times where I thought I was SO alone to get me to the place where I am today...a heaven compared to only a few years ago.

Through that, my faith has increased and keeps growing, and this tragic event happened to increase my testimony 100x's over, as I read the blog of the drowned toddlers Mother tonight and reading, through her eyes, a VERY humbling, and extremely heartwarming side of the story.

For those of you interested, go to www.stakerzxposed.blogspot.com to read about the experience through this Mother's eyes...I assure you YOUR eyes will be flooding with tears as mine were...so be prepared.

I am so grateful She was brave enough to share her story, for the little reminder it gave me about not only how precious life is and how indebted and so VERY grateful I should be to my Heavenly Father EVERYDAY for all his beautiful creations...but also to remind me, how in an INSTANT he can take it all right back.

We owe our lives to Him and if we have faith, whether we live a long life or if our time is soon up, may we have PEACE in knowing it's ALL in God's hands...we need NOT worry if we are doing what's RIGHT!

Luvs!

Temple

Give a Day Get a Disney Day

Here's something I think we can ALL be excited about...

Disney® wants to inspire one million people to volunteer a day of service to a participating organization in their communities. They are celebrating these volunteers' good works by giving each of them a 1-day, 1-theme park ticket to the Disneyland® Resort or Walt Disney World® Resort, free.

Giving service is a great opportunity to not only make a difference in the life of another but bless the life of the giver as well. This past year I worked with Habitat for Humanity helping to build a home in Provo, Utah for a family in need. It was a humbling experience and I was grateful I was able to help.

This opportunity through Disney® has allowed us a simple way to find out about opportunities in our own neighborhoods where we can volunteer as individuals or as a family to help. This is a great way to introduce your children to giving service to others and in return, not only will they see firsthand, the blessings and joy it brings to serve others, but they will also get a 1-day pass to a Disneyland® Resort of their choice for their efforts! Can't beat that!!

I have attached the link to the "Give a Day Get a Disney Day" website to the title of this post. Click on the post title to go to the website where you can learn more about this fun opportunity and find out about opportunities to serve in your neighborhood today!!

Me and my boys are already on board. We hope you'll join us!!

Luvs!

Contest Winners Announced!

Sorry it took so long for me to post the winners of our last contest but this new year has been a BUSY one for me!

As you know, there were 12 prizes to give away and only 2 girls entered...POOOEY to the rest of you!! ;) I guess I get to keep the other prizes for myself, haha! (jk) Each winner will receive a personal fitness training/nutritional package and a pair of designer jeans!!! YAY!!!

So here you go...their favorite holiday memories which they've shared for ALL of us to enjoy!!

Larissa-

It was Christmas day and I was 6 years old. My parents discovered after all presents had been opened, that I had not received the one specific present I had asked for. It was a special doll called "Baby Alive" that I had played with at a friend's house that previous summer while on vacation in California. It was like a real baby that you could feed and change it and it crawled! I was in love! I wanted one just like it, but I felt I needed to wait to ask for it at Christmas. I thought about that doll for 6 months until Christmas came and I could ask for it. My parents were unaware that I had asked for this doll because I hadn’t told them. I had only told Santa. So, on Christmas morning, I unwrapped everything only to find out that there was no doll! I waited until all the presents were unwrapped and then realized that I was not getting the doll I had waited for and wanted so badly. Upon discovering my disappointment and the reason why, my parents got on the phone (without my knowledge) and found a store called Rex-All drugs that was not only open on Christmas day (which was incredibly unusual back then) but also had this specific doll in stock. My father went out on Christmas day and drove hours out of his way to this store. He bought the doll and wrapping paper and wrapped it in the car. He then snuck it in the house and left it downstairs by the fireplace. Then, my mother sent me downstairs with the used wrapping paper to be burned in the fireplace. (We lived upstairs because the downstairs wasn't finished but, the fireplace was downstairs.) I walked downstairs experiencing the most excruciating depression I had felt so far in my young life. You can imagine my excitement when I saw this lonely present sitting by the fireplace because it had been dropped by Santa on his way upstairs! I just knew it had to be my doll!!! I came up the stairs yelling "He didn't forget, he didn't forget! I knew it, I knew it!" It was many, many years before I realized what my parents had done for me and because of this, it was many, many years I believed in Santa!!!


Emily-

My favorite holiday memories are currently in the making. My kids are so excited about Christmas this year, and so am I. I have been trying to focus on the Savior more, but let them believe in Santa as well. We are in our second year of a tradition of reading a story about Jesus every day in December. I have the LDS gospel art kit, so there is a picture that goes along with each story. I feel like it helps my kids start each day thinking about Jesus. We started a new tradition this year and will be exchanging gifts with just our immediate family. My oldest son picked his younger brother and decided to make a Mickey Mouse fleece blanket for him. I am so excited to see him open the present because he will LOVE it! I kept telling my oldest that his brother is going to love the blanket, he kept saying, "I know Mom, you already told me that." My response was this, "you get to see what it is like to give someone something they truly love." I believe that is a gift in itself. My children are at a stage where they still believe in Santa and are old enough to get the true meaning of Christmas. I love the innocence of youth. Merry Christmas!


Thank you to Larissa and Emily for your stories!!

I hope you ALL had an amazing holiday season and enjoy your new year to its FULLEST!!

Luvs!

Tis' the Season to give, give, GIVE!!!

As single mothers...

Tis' the season to give, give and give some MORE and just about LOOSE our minds after hearing our kids pout and read off their lists of things they want, most of which we can't afford...then as we SO TOTALLY overuse the old excuse of, "Santa's elves are watching your every move", or something to that extent to get our kids to rethink their naughty actions. I'm beginning to wonder if it's something in the hot chocolate that turns kids into lil' gremlins at this time of year??

My boys are getting smart and tried to turn that saying around on me this year, telling me I've, "been naughty", so Santa isn't going to get me anything this year. I finally had to explain to them that mommy doesn't want anything at Christmastime except for "nice, sweet and obedient kids"...a line my own Mom used on us when we were little.

I realized now how parents usually sacrifice what they want, even going without to give their kids a Christmas in which will put a smile on their little faces...makes TOTAL sense now looking back being that my parents had to buy for 8 kids?!?! Gives me anxiety even thinking about how they dealt with that financially?? Ughhhhh!!

Well, to pay back the one's who work even HARDER than SANTA...the endlessly hardworking Mommies that you ARE...I have found some AMAZINGLY generous individuals who have donated their products and services to give a gift to YOU this Christmas!!

First up...

Clint Meyer (a total hottie of a trainer might I add...I've seen his pics ;)), and "Total Rezults Fitness" located at 3300 South 900 East in Salt Lake City, Utah, will offer EVERYONE who reads this blog one Free Personal Training session! To schedule your appointment for a complimentary training session, call Clint Meyer at 801-651-2973.

Two special winner's will receive 3 Free sessions with Clint, which will ALSO include a customized Nutrition plan. Girls, this can definitely help start your new year off on the right foot!!

Second...

Who doesn't love clothes??

Well...Mad and InZane and Shaka Claus (the Hawaiian version of Santa Claus) have donated 8 pairs of their "Ranahan" Jeans (sizes 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 and 32) to you WELL deserving women, giving 8 lucky winners an incredible fitting pair of jeans during these hard economic times, AS WELL AS 2 Original Retro Brand Tees that are being used to promote "Collegiate Fridays" (retail at Saks and Fred Segal's for approx $40).

Ranahan designer jeans are featured in Women's Wear Daily, In Touch Weekly, People, US weekly, Teen People, Star, on E! Entertainment Television, and MSNBC, these jeans are HOT! They are loved by loads of celebs like Paris Hilton, Teri Hatcher, Rebecca Romijn, Molly Sims, Hillary Duff, for the exquisite fit and style; retail is $80-$180.

A total of 12 GIFTS to giveaway to you lucky MOMS!!!!

To be eligible for either the training/nutritional packages or the clothes you will need to add yourself as a follower of this blog to the right of the page and email me at temple@singlemomtogetherstrong.org sending me either a picture or short story of your favorite holiday memory as well as your contact info. Also, include whether you prefer the fitness/nutritional package or a pair of jeans (including which size you'd be interested in), OR if you'd rather receive one of the t-shirts instead (size small and medium). First come, first serve. ;)

**ALL entries MUST be received by January 1, 2010. Winners of any of the clothing items are responsible for shipping/handling or can choose to pick the items up at an American Fork, Utah location. Winning pics and stories will be posted on the blog for all to enjoy.**

Those that don't win can still get a pair of Ranahan Jeans before Christmas for $45 (includes shipping), for being a fan and adding yourself as a follower of this blog on the right side of the page. Contact me for more info at temple@singlemomtogetherstrong.org.

I TRULY hope you ALL have a SAFE & FABULOUS holiday season and somewhere in the crazy mix of things we can slow down enough to realize the true meaning of Christmas, remembering ALL we've been blessed with in which we should be SO VERY thankful for! :)

I love you ALL!!

Luvs!

Temple

There Comes A Point In Your Life...

"There comes a point in your life when you realize Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore...and Who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future." -Unknown

Luvs!

An Event You Won't Want To Miss!

This weekend my girlfriend is having an open house to showcase her gorgeous and unique watches and etc. There will also be other vendors there you'll want to check out. I'll be there and hope to see you there too!!

Luvs!