" . . from the beginning, [Satan] has worked with a vengeance to distort the very definition of womanhood and to confuse everyone about us, including us. Here are just a few of [Satan’s] lies: That men are smarter, have all the power, and are more important, so if we want to have influence we should be more like them; that marriage and family are confining; that motherhood is menial and a waste of any talented woman’s time; that women are perpetually frazzled and failing; and that a woman’s value is based on her size, shape and what she accomplishes outside the home. Too many women have bought these lies. Our culture is disintegrating at the speed of light, and unfortunately, our gender is doing a lot of the damage."
~Sheri Dew, ["Awake, Arise, and Come Unto Christ"
a speech given at 2008 BYU Women's Conference]
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
So Blessed
I absolutely LOVE the month of July here in Utah, for the very reason that we have the opportunity to celebrate not only the freedom of our country as a whole on the 4th, but also the freedom of our religious rights and blessings which we enjoy today, which includes living in such a beautiful city, ALL as a result of such sacrifices made by the early pioneers who arrived in the valley on July 24, 1847, finally reaching their destination they called "Zion" and we call the Salt Lake City Valley.
The evening of July 4th, I was looking forward to writing a blog post, in which I could express the feelings within me that have been escalating over the past weeks, including the blessings I am SO very grateful for and the many "Freedoms" I enjoy in my life today as a result of not ONLY others courage in standing up for what's right and in facing an unknown future in hopes for a better tomorrow, but also my own little family's courage and sacrifice which has brought us as far as we have come, through the many personal trials which we've had to endure through the past.
Not surprising, my plans were soon interrupted by an unexpected text message from my sons father around 8:45pm which read,
I chuckled to myself as I thought about how he likes to twist the truth by manipulating words, such as, "Do I want??", as if it would somehow benefit ME if he "blessed US with HIS presence", LOL!
Truth is, it's our sons that would be the ones to care...they had only seen their dad for a total of 2 hours in the 6 weeks prior...2 hours that their dad was SO drugged up, he could hardly keep his eyes open and his speech in tact.
SO...
For the boys sake, and as long as he would be sober this time, I agreed to let him come down to celebrate the rest of the Independence Day with his sons...hoping it would prove to be a better experience than the last.
Shortly after his arrival, I chauffeured him and the boys in my SUV to the Walmart so he could purchase the fireworks which would be used to entertain our sons for the remainder of the night. As we were in line waiting to make the purchase, he turned to me and said,
"Wooooaaaa..." I thought, puzzled, as we walked out to my parked SUV, "That was weird?!"
His compliment finally made sense to me upon climbing back in the vehicle, where he made the announcement, that he and his wife were "through"...and that she had "moved out" on him 2 weeks earlier, just days after his drugged up episode which we had ALL witnessed during our time at Pirate Island the week of Fathers Day (see previous blog post).
I couldn't blame her at ALL for leaving...
In fact, I had even tried to warn her, way back in the very beginning, of the harsh realities she would have to face if involved with the man I knew ALL too well, a knowledge resulting from my own unfortunate experiences during my, near decade long, relationship with him...I felt it was my duty to warn her, to keep her from making the same stupid mistakes I had made in trusting him.
It would later prove to be a waste of my own energy, as she had apparently thought she struck gold with him as he would again manipulate the truth, making her believe his own fabricated story that I was "just jealous" of her, and that his "issues" were now "in the past". Clearly it was ALL a FAR stretch from reality, as she had finally come to the reality of what I had tried to warn her of since the beginning.
So back to the 4th of July evening where he came down to do fireworks...
Later that evening, after the fireworks had all been lit off, my ex began to describe his version of the events leading up to his newly failed marriage (none of which was surprising to me). As I listened on I heard him recite the same old excuses he had used on me in the past...it was pretty clear he was again, trying to play me for a fool.
I began to feel the freedom and peace I had been enjoying for the past several years away from him being threatened as I realized he was clearly hoping this was his chance to get our "family back together", yet again.
Funny how things can change in an instance, one day I am enjoying peace and tranquility and the next I feel like I just traveled back in time 3 years, to when he was still trying to make US work...the toxic cycle I thought which had ended for good once I moved an hour away and he then married his latest wife, finally keeping him somewhat preoccupied and out of my hair.
The next day he, again, used the excuse that he wanted to spend time with our boys, inviting himself to hang out with me and my family during our holiday celebrations. At one point, I had asked my sister to take a picture of me and my sons in front of a picture of the Statue of Liberty. My ex immediately grabbed our youngest son and stood in right next to me like we were taking a family photo?! My sister standing behind the camera started to chuckle as she could see the irritated look on my face wondering what in the heck he was thinking posing so naturally by my side?!
All day long he made sure to stay by my side like we were a couple. I was thinking, "What the heck is he doing?!" I can't believe he just thinks he can waltz back in my life?! Single or not, it did NOT mean I had been reserving a spot for him to come back in my life?!
The next evening, he text me and asked when I would be getting off work the next day. Reluctant to answer, I asked, "Why?"
He responded with, "I am going to try and come down and see u guys tomorrow if thats ok after u get off or let me know.
Had I read his text right?? I re-read it again to make sure...Sure enough there it was again, written as CLEAR as day...
I thought to myself..."OMGAWSH!!!" I didn't want to be a purpose for his visits?!
When I didn't respond right away, he must have gotten a feel for what I had been thinking as a result of his sudden attempt to bounce RIGHT back into the position as 'Patriarch' of this family...a position I had LONG since revoked from him ever holding again.
Sitting poolside, as me and a friend watched our children swim, I had JUST been describing to her of the frustrations I was now feeling...feelings as a result of my ex-husband suddenly feeling he had a RIGHT to just waltz back into my life like NOTHING ever happened?!
Just then, I received a text from him which made me instantly Laugh Out Loud:
I have no idea if, or when, he will ever get a clue that he's traveling down a dead end road with me, but one thing is for sure...
This week's unexpected experience threw me for a COMPLETE loop, giving me a clearer realization at how, through a false sense of security on our own part, we might be taking our everyday freedom and rights for granted today, where tomorrow they might ALL be at risk of tumbling down, torn apart by those who wish to jeopardize our own peace and happiness in search of filling their OWN voids, ultimately with the goal of bringing satisfaction for themselves, regardless of how their choices may affect others.
Regardless of the weird dynamics that seem to unexpectedly pop up in my life when I least expect them, I have to admit I am otherwise SO BLESSED in my life!
I am SO grateful to live in this beautiful country, blessed with rights and privileges which our forefather's fought hard to protect, and for those who continue to sacrifice much, upholding our rights today. How truly blessed we are to worship as we may and live in safety and in peace (for the most part). ;)
I pray we NEVER forget how truly blessed we are and that we may ALWAYS remember those who have worked hard, even sacrificing their own lives, that we might continue to be blessed with the freedoms we enjoy today.
Luvs!
The evening of July 4th, I was looking forward to writing a blog post, in which I could express the feelings within me that have been escalating over the past weeks, including the blessings I am SO very grateful for and the many "Freedoms" I enjoy in my life today as a result of not ONLY others courage in standing up for what's right and in facing an unknown future in hopes for a better tomorrow, but also my own little family's courage and sacrifice which has brought us as far as we have come, through the many personal trials which we've had to endure through the past.
Not surprising, my plans were soon interrupted by an unexpected text message from my sons father around 8:45pm which read,
"Do you want me to grab some fireworks and come down?"
I chuckled to myself as I thought about how he likes to twist the truth by manipulating words, such as, "Do I want??", as if it would somehow benefit ME if he "blessed US with HIS presence", LOL!
Truth is, it's our sons that would be the ones to care...they had only seen their dad for a total of 2 hours in the 6 weeks prior...2 hours that their dad was SO drugged up, he could hardly keep his eyes open and his speech in tact.
SO...
For the boys sake, and as long as he would be sober this time, I agreed to let him come down to celebrate the rest of the Independence Day with his sons...hoping it would prove to be a better experience than the last.
Shortly after his arrival, I chauffeured him and the boys in my SUV to the Walmart so he could purchase the fireworks which would be used to entertain our sons for the remainder of the night. As we were in line waiting to make the purchase, he turned to me and said,
"You darkened your hair...it looks good."
"Wooooaaaa..." I thought, puzzled, as we walked out to my parked SUV, "That was weird?!"
His compliment finally made sense to me upon climbing back in the vehicle, where he made the announcement, that he and his wife were "through"...and that she had "moved out" on him 2 weeks earlier, just days after his drugged up episode which we had ALL witnessed during our time at Pirate Island the week of Fathers Day (see previous blog post).
I couldn't blame her at ALL for leaving...
In fact, I had even tried to warn her, way back in the very beginning, of the harsh realities she would have to face if involved with the man I knew ALL too well, a knowledge resulting from my own unfortunate experiences during my, near decade long, relationship with him...I felt it was my duty to warn her, to keep her from making the same stupid mistakes I had made in trusting him.
It would later prove to be a waste of my own energy, as she had apparently thought she struck gold with him as he would again manipulate the truth, making her believe his own fabricated story that I was "just jealous" of her, and that his "issues" were now "in the past". Clearly it was ALL a FAR stretch from reality, as she had finally come to the reality of what I had tried to warn her of since the beginning.
So back to the 4th of July evening where he came down to do fireworks...
Later that evening, after the fireworks had all been lit off, my ex began to describe his version of the events leading up to his newly failed marriage (none of which was surprising to me). As I listened on I heard him recite the same old excuses he had used on me in the past...it was pretty clear he was again, trying to play me for a fool.
I began to feel the freedom and peace I had been enjoying for the past several years away from him being threatened as I realized he was clearly hoping this was his chance to get our "family back together", yet again.
Funny how things can change in an instance, one day I am enjoying peace and tranquility and the next I feel like I just traveled back in time 3 years, to when he was still trying to make US work...the toxic cycle I thought which had ended for good once I moved an hour away and he then married his latest wife, finally keeping him somewhat preoccupied and out of my hair.
The next day he, again, used the excuse that he wanted to spend time with our boys, inviting himself to hang out with me and my family during our holiday celebrations. At one point, I had asked my sister to take a picture of me and my sons in front of a picture of the Statue of Liberty. My ex immediately grabbed our youngest son and stood in right next to me like we were taking a family photo?! My sister standing behind the camera started to chuckle as she could see the irritated look on my face wondering what in the heck he was thinking posing so naturally by my side?!
All day long he made sure to stay by my side like we were a couple. I was thinking, "What the heck is he doing?!" I can't believe he just thinks he can waltz back in my life?! Single or not, it did NOT mean I had been reserving a spot for him to come back in my life?!
The next evening, he text me and asked when I would be getting off work the next day. Reluctant to answer, I asked, "Why?"
He responded with, "I am going to try and come down and see u guys tomorrow if thats ok after u get off or let me know.
Had I read his text right?? I re-read it again to make sure...Sure enough there it was again, written as CLEAR as day...
"U guys?!"
I thought to myself..."OMGAWSH!!!" I didn't want to be a purpose for his visits?!
When I didn't respond right away, he must have gotten a feel for what I had been thinking as a result of his sudden attempt to bounce RIGHT back into the position as 'Patriarch' of this family...a position I had LONG since revoked from him ever holding again.
Sitting poolside, as me and a friend watched our children swim, I had JUST been describing to her of the frustrations I was now feeling...feelings as a result of my ex-husband suddenly feeling he had a RIGHT to just waltz back into my life like NOTHING ever happened?!
Just then, I received a text from him which made me instantly Laugh Out Loud:
"I know ur thinking and telling ur friends holly shit i have an instant husband. I'm sorry and thank u for being so kind and letting me back into ur life it means a lot and I will try not to impose on u as little as poss!""Well, he sure NAILED that one right on the head!", I exclaimed, after reading his text out loud, causing me AND my friend to burst into laughter, reminding us both at how truly ODD some men's interpretation can be of the truth, especially with the self flattery in writing the part about me letting him back into my life...SO far off from reality, lol!
I have no idea if, or when, he will ever get a clue that he's traveling down a dead end road with me, but one thing is for sure...
This week's unexpected experience threw me for a COMPLETE loop, giving me a clearer realization at how, through a false sense of security on our own part, we might be taking our everyday freedom and rights for granted today, where tomorrow they might ALL be at risk of tumbling down, torn apart by those who wish to jeopardize our own peace and happiness in search of filling their OWN voids, ultimately with the goal of bringing satisfaction for themselves, regardless of how their choices may affect others.
Regardless of the weird dynamics that seem to unexpectedly pop up in my life when I least expect them, I have to admit I am otherwise SO BLESSED in my life!
I am SO grateful to live in this beautiful country, blessed with rights and privileges which our forefather's fought hard to protect, and for those who continue to sacrifice much, upholding our rights today. How truly blessed we are to worship as we may and live in safety and in peace (for the most part). ;)
I pray we NEVER forget how truly blessed we are and that we may ALWAYS remember those who have worked hard, even sacrificing their own lives, that we might continue to be blessed with the freedoms we enjoy today.
Luvs!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
ksl.com - Salt Lake man attempts to light wife on fire
Right after watching "Katie's Story" on 20/20 about a former model who had acid thrown on her face because a jealous ex-boyfriend...I see this local story on Ksl.com:
ksl.com - Salt Lake man attempts to light wife on fire
What a complete COWARD of a man...why don't men this low just go set themselves on fire and give us ALL a break?! I am SO grateful his wife and children made it out alive. Hopefully the state will actually step up and keep this man from doing something like this again in the future.
ksl.com - Salt Lake man attempts to light wife on fire
What a complete COWARD of a man...why don't men this low just go set themselves on fire and give us ALL a break?! I am SO grateful his wife and children made it out alive. Hopefully the state will actually step up and keep this man from doing something like this again in the future.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Dishwasher Disaster
YES...I am WELL aware it's 2 AM at the moment...
I used to wonder what my mom was doing up late at night after I was in bed...
WELL...
NOW I KNOW!!!
I am always up finishing something or other that needs to be taken care of and tonight it happened to be an OVERLOADED sink FULL of dishes due to my dishwasher breaking. :(
I figured the landlord would have had the thing thing fixed by now?!
NOPE!
It's been 5 days now and we have finally run completely OUT out of every cup, spoon and plate imaginable...
I'm really NOT a slob...in fact, I'm quite the opposite so I'm rather proud of myself for NOT letting them get to me for this long. ;) BUT, seriously though...who REALLY has actual time to HAND wash dishes?!?!
I SURELY DON'T!
I had figured I'd leave them at the bottom of my "To Do" list...til tonight when I finally had ENOUGH of looking at that PILE of CRAP in my sink...SO I did them ALL by hand after I took care of everything else for the night.
As I was scrubbing away...rinsing...and drying...I was thinking to myself, "How did any woman have ANY time for ANYTHING else when she was the freaking DISHWASHER every day?!?! It's a FULL time job...well JUST about?!
My 6 year old asks me quite regularly just as I had pondered the same with my own mother after I was down for bed...
Well, in the morning when he see's the GINORMOUS pile of dishes that had been spreading like cancer over the sides of the sink, completely VANISHED...he BETTER get a BIG clue as to "what's SO important", that I lose my MUCH needed sleep having to DO IT.
Let's just say, there AIN'T NO 'Dish Fairy' to steal my glory on this one, THAT'S for SURE!! ;)
Anyway, the ONLY reason I'm now seemingly psycho enough to STILL be up NOW writing a blog post, is because I told a friend of mine I would put some info on my blog yesterday about his charity 'SLC to Vegas' cycling ride to raise money to build a home for one VERY deserving family...AND then I TOTALLY spaced it?!
SO...NO more procrastination...here it is:
A friend of mine is riding his bike from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas Nevada next week in an attempt to raise money with other friends for 'Hearts and Hands'. The ride is 565 miles and the group will be riding about 100 miles a day for 5 1/2 days. That is about 6 hours of cycling a day!!
Their goal is to build ONE HOME for a deserving family through Hearts & Hands foundation (http://heartsandhandsinaction.org/).
For around $10,000.00 Hearts & Hands can build a home and this SLC to Vegas ride will create the $10,000 to make it happen...along with YOUR help.
You can TAKE PART IN THE INSANITY by pledging a donation for your support. Most people like to pledge pennies per mile. Others would just as well make a lump-sum donation. Either way, it's all appreciated!
To make a pledge, go to http://heartsandbikes.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Hearts-Pledge-Form.pdf and fill out a pledge form if you'd like to sponsor my friend's ride. Then, let me know so I can get the pledge info back to him.
He is planning on doing all 565 miles. A penny a mile is $5.65, a nickel a mile is $28.25, a dime a mile is $56.50. Truly anything helps this great cause and all you have to do is pledge, my friend is the one who makes the 565 mile ride...lucky for US we just get to sit back and follow the progress!
May we wish him ALL the best!
Okay...I'm OFF to get some SLEEP now, FINALLY!!
I used to wonder what my mom was doing up late at night after I was in bed...
WELL...
NOW I KNOW!!!
I am always up finishing something or other that needs to be taken care of and tonight it happened to be an OVERLOADED sink FULL of dishes due to my dishwasher breaking. :(
I figured the landlord would have had the thing thing fixed by now?!
NOPE!
It's been 5 days now and we have finally run completely OUT out of every cup, spoon and plate imaginable...
I'm really NOT a slob...in fact, I'm quite the opposite so I'm rather proud of myself for NOT letting them get to me for this long. ;) BUT, seriously though...who REALLY has actual time to HAND wash dishes?!?!
I SURELY DON'T!
I had figured I'd leave them at the bottom of my "To Do" list...til tonight when I finally had ENOUGH of looking at that PILE of CRAP in my sink...SO I did them ALL by hand after I took care of everything else for the night.
As I was scrubbing away...rinsing...and drying...I was thinking to myself, "How did any woman have ANY time for ANYTHING else when she was the freaking DISHWASHER every day?!?! It's a FULL time job...well JUST about?!
My 6 year old asks me quite regularly just as I had pondered the same with my own mother after I was down for bed...
"Mom, why don't you just come to bed when we do...what's SO important that you need to stay up?"
Well, in the morning when he see's the GINORMOUS pile of dishes that had been spreading like cancer over the sides of the sink, completely VANISHED...he BETTER get a BIG clue as to "what's SO important", that I lose my MUCH needed sleep having to DO IT.
Let's just say, there AIN'T NO 'Dish Fairy' to steal my glory on this one, THAT'S for SURE!! ;)
Anyway, the ONLY reason I'm now seemingly psycho enough to STILL be up NOW writing a blog post, is because I told a friend of mine I would put some info on my blog yesterday about his charity 'SLC to Vegas' cycling ride to raise money to build a home for one VERY deserving family...AND then I TOTALLY spaced it?!
SO...NO more procrastination...here it is:
A friend of mine is riding his bike from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas Nevada next week in an attempt to raise money with other friends for 'Hearts and Hands'. The ride is 565 miles and the group will be riding about 100 miles a day for 5 1/2 days. That is about 6 hours of cycling a day!!
Their goal is to build ONE HOME for a deserving family through Hearts & Hands foundation (http://heartsandhandsinaction.org/).
For around $10,000.00 Hearts & Hands can build a home and this SLC to Vegas ride will create the $10,000 to make it happen...along with YOUR help.
You can TAKE PART IN THE INSANITY by pledging a donation for your support. Most people like to pledge pennies per mile. Others would just as well make a lump-sum donation. Either way, it's all appreciated!
To make a pledge, go to http://heartsandbikes.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Hearts-Pledge-Form.pdf and fill out a pledge form if you'd like to sponsor my friend's ride. Then, let me know so I can get the pledge info back to him.
He is planning on doing all 565 miles. A penny a mile is $5.65, a nickel a mile is $28.25, a dime a mile is $56.50. Truly anything helps this great cause and all you have to do is pledge, my friend is the one who makes the 565 mile ride...lucky for US we just get to sit back and follow the progress!
May we wish him ALL the best!
Okay...I'm OFF to get some SLEEP now, FINALLY!!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Cougar Town
Tonight I figured I'd force myself to relax...kind of a hard thing to do after drinking a 'Red Bull' at 10 O'clock at night...what the heck was I thinking?!
Actually, this is what I WAS thinking...
"I'll drink this 'Red Bull' and when I get home I won't be so tired and then I'll jump on my treadmill after putting my boys to bed and jog 3 miles while I catch up on some of my favorite shows..."
LOL!! Yeah, RIGHT!! (didn't happen)
Instead I browsed, BRIGHT eyed, through my extensive library of Tivo'd shows, from my SOFA, to see what would catch my eye:
'Dateline NBC'...'20/20'...'Oprah'...'Cougar Town'...
'COUGAR TOWN'!!! (singing the title in a high-pitched tone of excitement)
For those of you who read that and automatically thought "Provo, Utah", let me just clue you in a bit...
'Cougar Town' is to divorced, single mom's...like 'Martha Stuart' is to the married homemaker. Get it? ;)
Courtney Cox plays the MOST perfectly cast, fresh divorcee, I can EVER even imagine, I MUST say,
AND...
When I first discovered this show I was so TOTALLY and immediately addicted!
Since then, I got a life (A.K.A. a job) which has soaked up ALL my extra time that I had originally budgeted simply for wasting TIME on my sofa watching ABSOLUTELY meaningless shows JUST to get in a laugh or two at the end of the night...a complete Ab workout, if I'm watching with a friend who actually understands, first hand, the dynamics of the show as I do from my OWN experiences...in that case, one of us is nearly peeing our pants.
Tonight I was hoping for a new episode, but instead came upon one of the shows from the first season. I MUST admit, I laughed JUST as hard as I did the first time, as the character 'Jules', reminds me SO MUCH of my OWN humorous past experiences, STRAIGHT out of the chute, in the single "ARENA"...definitely a "rodeo ride", I must say, as MOST of you, I'm sure, can relate, haha!
If you are clueless...you definitely NEED to experience the show for yourself, FIRST HAND! It'll make you laugh your guts out as you come to realize, you're NOT AT ALL alone in this crazy world, WE single mom's, call 'LIFE'!
K, now it's time for me to FORCE myself to close my eyes and fall asleep. ;)
Night!
Actually, this is what I WAS thinking...
"I'll drink this 'Red Bull' and when I get home I won't be so tired and then I'll jump on my treadmill after putting my boys to bed and jog 3 miles while I catch up on some of my favorite shows..."
LOL!! Yeah, RIGHT!! (didn't happen)
Instead I browsed, BRIGHT eyed, through my extensive library of Tivo'd shows, from my SOFA, to see what would catch my eye:
'Dateline NBC'...'20/20'...'Oprah'...'Cougar Town'...
'COUGAR TOWN'!!! (singing the title in a high-pitched tone of excitement)
For those of you who read that and automatically thought "Provo, Utah", let me just clue you in a bit...
'Cougar Town' is to divorced, single mom's...like 'Martha Stuart' is to the married homemaker. Get it? ;)
Courtney Cox plays the MOST perfectly cast, fresh divorcee, I can EVER even imagine, I MUST say,
AND...
When I first discovered this show I was so TOTALLY and immediately addicted!
Since then, I got a life (A.K.A. a job) which has soaked up ALL my extra time that I had originally budgeted simply for wasting TIME on my sofa watching ABSOLUTELY meaningless shows JUST to get in a laugh or two at the end of the night...a complete Ab workout, if I'm watching with a friend who actually understands, first hand, the dynamics of the show as I do from my OWN experiences...in that case, one of us is nearly peeing our pants.
Tonight I was hoping for a new episode, but instead came upon one of the shows from the first season. I MUST admit, I laughed JUST as hard as I did the first time, as the character 'Jules', reminds me SO MUCH of my OWN humorous past experiences, STRAIGHT out of the chute, in the single "ARENA"...definitely a "rodeo ride", I must say, as MOST of you, I'm sure, can relate, haha!
If you are clueless...you definitely NEED to experience the show for yourself, FIRST HAND! It'll make you laugh your guts out as you come to realize, you're NOT AT ALL alone in this crazy world, WE single mom's, call 'LIFE'!
K, now it's time for me to FORCE myself to close my eyes and fall asleep. ;)
Night!
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